Our Not Quite Secret
by sctwilightvampwolfgal
Summary: Toris knew that it was wrong to have a relationship like this with the married Spades' King yet he'd already fallen too far in. *Inspired off of a prompt from Day Five of AmeLiet Week 2017.* CardVerse AU.


It felt as if their whole lives were comprised of secret meetings that sometimes ended perfectly or rather not so perfectly.

Toris always walked into Alfred's castle as if he'd be struck down by the entirety of his not quite boyfriend's kingdom.

He'd still come day after day whenever he could slip in and seemed to adore the days were Arthur was out the most.

Usually those days were peaceful as Alfred held him close on his way too big bed and cuddled him like there was no tomorrow; there was a softness to those days that felt so delicate as if it could so easily change and become something much different if they weren't careful.

Some days instead of cuddling, they'd kiss, feel the ever shifting temperature inside the big room and wonder if there was anything better in either kingdom that they knew well other than clinging kisses and passions that run amuck so very often.

Other days weren't so cheerful; they'd fight like children that had lost some important game or another to a rival that had proved themselves superior.

"You don't really care, do you?" Toris's arguments always sounded so bitterly sad and defeated as he pushed back tears in a relatively quiet voice unless he was beyond angry then he'd yell with everything in him.

"I care. I love you, but we can't do that. My people depend on me, and Arthur does too." Alfred would demand usually screaming unless he was stressed from too many recent arguments on top of a heavy work load.

"Then why bother being with me?" It was a harsh double edged sword; Toris really wished that Alfred would give up his claim to heroic fame and just be with him: no secrets, no worrying.

"Because I love you." Alfred bit his lip hard enough for it to bleed before he stormed away probably in search of some quiet and some medicine.

Toris always left those days as if slunking off to some horrid destination, a bad taste in his mouth, and a pain that sucked away all that made him who he was.

He sometimes thought that he loved Alfred too much, loved him beyond the leader of the Spades' Kingdom, loved him for who he was underneath that perfect mask.

Other days, Toris would visit while Arthur was home.

Nothing was more unnerving than having a cup of crisp tea with your sort of boyfriend's husband as you tried to make some form of polite small talk.

Arthur spoke as if he didn't know better, more than better, as to why Toris was visiting given the fact that he was a Clubs' citizen though it always felt as if Arthur knew more than he let on.

Alfred pretended on those days that nothing was amiss as he tried to talk about something cheerily mundane like the weather.

Toris knew those days either ended up as crisply as they began or led to some kind of argument.

"Why do you ever let me visit? Your husband was right there, and he knows." Toris would grumble sometimes when the stress killed his nerves as Alfred walked him to the door.

"Relax, he's totally dating Kiku anyway." Alfred muttered as if his kingdom had been big on arranged marriages which it had never indulged in.

"Are you sure?" Toris placed his hand over his heart and stared into blue eyes that always seemed so clear until now.

"Yeah, besides he doesn't care anyway." Alfred shrugged and refused to look away from Toris's green irises.

* * *

"He's your husband; of course he cares." Toris grumbled though Alfred always nudged him to the door then as if he truly had to hurry away.

It often felt bittersweet to be in a relationship with the King of the Spades Kingdom as if among his kindness and affection, there'd always be sorrow.

Toris had never known anyone that kissed him like Alfred did let alone held him close on stormy nights whenever he visited and Arthur was away.

Arthur often was in the Hearts Kingdom for some business or another; Toris doubted that the man was cheating on his husband with the Hearts' Queen.

It seemed impossible with how the two men behaved in public as if everything was an easy ride, that they loved each other more than anything, no one ever danced as close as they did at formal gatherings, or kissed as much.

They always seemed to flirt with each other though just within palace walls whenever Toris was around, they never did.

The two spent their time together within a half balanced sphere though they seemed to understand each other better than most.

Alfred insisted whenever Toris worried that he wasn't missing how things used to be with Arthur, that he loved Toris, not Arthur or at least not in that way.

Toris sighed and wondered why he'd let his relationship with the King of Spades get so complicated as he leaned into feather light kisses and daydreamed of a life far better than the half hidden shell of the one that they lived in.


End file.
